No matter how well you and your significant other may get along, you will eventually run into communication problems. The truth is – communicating with other people is harder than we think. The stress of being in a relationship with somebody can make these problems even more apparent. Fortunately, there are some pretty simple solutions to help solve communication problems.
Bridging the gender gap.
Everybody knows men and women approach just about everything differently. This can be especially true in relationships. It’s all too simple to write your partner off as being irrational or childish and petty. The truth is, nobody, regardless of their gender, is ever really totally rational. Trying to be more empathetic to the viewpoint of the opposite gender can only help strengthen your communication, and your relationship.
Don’t just hear them, listen.
Remember communication problems happen at both ends. With time, you might think you know what your partner is going to say, but unless you’re genuinely psychic, listening attentively can get you a lot further. A good trick for active listening is to recap what you just heard to confirm that you got the right information.
It isn’t really anybody’s fault.
In a relationship, one person’s problem is the others. Finding a decent solution is in the best interest of all parties. Don’t play the blame game and point fingers. Remember: you’ll only wind up pointing back at yourself. Don’t blame generic moods on your partner. Sure you may feel lousy if they flirt with somebody else, and that’s fine, but if you wake up feeling like yesterday’s trash, that’s probably not your partner’s fault. Assigning blame never helps reach a solution. All it does is rehash the problem again and again to nobody’s benefit.
Let the facts do the talking.
When going over problems in a relationship, don’t waste time on things you’re not certain of. Stick to certain things; how you feel, things that your partner realizes they do – stuff like that. Being vague, like saying, “you disrespected me in front of my friends” isn’t very helpful. Respectful behavior varies from person to person. On the other hand, being specific like, “I can’t believe you told Tom about our sex life” will clearly get your point across.
Be honest, but gentle.
If you expect your partner to “put up or shut up” about problems in your relationship, all you’re doing is pushing them away. If you have a problem, let them know. Just make certain to do so with tact and respect. Remember, your partner doesn’t want to hurt you or annoy you and they might be pretty upset to find out they are causing your unhappiness.
You’re a friend, not the coach.
We don’t date somebody because we want them to constantly correct their mistakes. We want someone to support us. You may think you’re just helping out, but your partner might feel like you have little or no respect for them or their abilities. Instead of criticizing them, encourage them. Be certain to give positive feedback anytime you can.
These simple tips, which sound like nothing more than common sense, can go a long way to solve communication problems in relationships. If you’re having a hard
time talking to your partner, don’t hesitate to try these.