Though online dating may seem fairly straight forward and the ideal place to meet your potential soul-mate, it does have its little idiosyncrasies and it is often not as simple as it looks. For one thing, you need to be prepared for a little competition. You need to make yourself stand out so that you get the pick of the crop (or at least someone you like). Once your profile is up, you are competing directly against hundreds, or even thousands of other individuals who are after the same thing that you are.
Here are some tips that can help you navigate the, sometimes cutthroat, world of online dating and improve your desirability and, hence, your chances for finding quality people on these sites.
Work on your profile
By far, the most important thing is to take your time and fill out a quality profile. Potential dates have nothing else to go by except your profile. If you rush through this part, it will reflect on the quality of people you attract.
Remember: Your profile is your sales letter – make sure it is the best it can be.
Add some personality and try not to sound boring. List as much information as you can without sounding conceited. Try to come off as approachable, but also as someone who knows what they want. List all your hobbies, likes, dislikes, pastimes, interests. Keep it real and try not to stretch the truth in order to make your profile look better. The truth will always come out – and even if you don’t get as many replies, the ones you do get will know the real you and you won’t have to worry about keeping up some charade.
Your writing style should be friendly, without sounding desperate. It should be clearly understood by whoever is reading it. Remember: there is a lot of competition and most people browse the profiles quickly because there are so many. For this reason, you should also work on your opening paragraph. You want something that is going to grab their attention and keep it.
Try not to give away everything in the profile. It is always a good idea to leave a little to the imagination. What you are trying to do at the moment is attract someone’s attention enough so that they take the time to reply to your ad. You don’t want to write your entire life story and show all your cards at once. Create an air of mystery as this can be very provocative.
Make sure that you include a photo of yourself in your details. This is probably the most important part of the entire profile. You would be surprised at the number of people that don’t include a photo, yet wonder why their profile is being ignored. Even if you have little else in terms of details, you will get more views than someone with a very detailed profile, but no photo.
And if you are a little self-conscious, don’t worry because there are ways to make yourself look good. Choose a picture that you like and add a little shadow, lighten it, or make it a bit darker to get the maximum effect from it. You could even use a photo that has been taken at a distance – as long as people get a general idea of what you look like.
Work on your personality
If you are finding that everyone you meet is not getting back to you, or that people are putting you on their ignore list, you may want to re-evaluate your approach and the way you interact with others. Maybe there is something about your personality that just rubs people the wrong way.
Enlist the help of a friend to get a second opinion. Chances are, however, you probably already know what you need to work on.
If you are shy and tentative, you may also try to take more risks when it comes to meeting others online. If you are waiting for someone to respond to your ad, why not take the initiative and send a message to someone who caught your eye. Make that first move. Don’t be afraid of rejection, we all get rejected at one time or another. Step out a little, stop playing it safe and see what you can get going for yourself.
The worst thing that can happen is that you get rejected – so what? Simply put that person on ignore and move on to the next. Life is too short to get upset about people you don’t even know.
Take a chance – you never know what can happen.