It started off as an uneasy feeling. You didn’t know exactly what the problem was. But now, it is obvious that your gut feeling was right all along – your spouse is displaying signs of cheating and you don’t know what to do.
You have a lot on the line here. You don’t want to open up that can of worms unless you have to because you could lose everything and end up wondering how to get your ex back. Though you see signs of cheating, common sense tells you that you are going to have to go very slow here. You have to be sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
But, just because your spouse is acting strange doesn’t mean that he/she is up to no good. It doesn’t mean that they are sneaking around behind your back with someone else. On the other hand – what if they are? The last thing you want to do is bury your head in the sand and let it happen. It can be tough to decide when to let it go and when to say something.
Okay, now you know something is up, but what is it? That is something that you are going to have to get to the bottom of – the sooner, the better for your own sake. Here is a list of the top 10 signs of cheating. Bear in mind that you are going to have to be 100% certain before you approach your spouse. Read the list and see if anything looks familiar.
The Top 10 Signs of Cheating
Signs of Cheating #1 – Mood Swings
One of the first signs that there is something happening (or about to happen) is that your spouse starts experiencing wild mood swings. This is something that can happen long before an actual affair takes place. In fact, it could be an indication that your spouse has developed feelings for someone else, even before that person knows about it. While not a direct sign of cheating, it is a good precursor of events to come.
If you notice that your spouse is going from happy to sad in the blink of an eye (especially after a mysterious phone call), they could be reacting directly to what that other person is saying and doing. For example, they may be chasing someone and they are being ignored – that would cause them to become depressed for no apparent reason. Or they may have connected with someone, gone to lunch or even exchanged some “harmless flirting” – that would cause them to become uncharacteristically happy all of a sudden. Watch for signs like this because it may not be too late at this point.
Signs of Cheating #2 – Their Daily Routine Changes
If your spouse has had the same routine for 5 years and they suddenly start working late at night a few times a week and on weekends, you may have something to worry about. Now, it is very important that you take things slow here because there could be a very good reason for the change in their schedule. Their work responsibilities could have changed, for example. Tread carefully here.
On the other hand, if your spouse is having an affair, they are going to have to make time for the other person. That means that you are going to notice this change. It is going to take a lot of time, effort and creativity to maintain two relationships and, try as they may, there are only 24 hours in a day.
Signs of Cheating #3 – Their Appearance Changes
Remember what it was like when you first started dating? You would make sure that you were looking your best whenever you saw each other. You wore your best clothes and did everything in your power to highlight your assets. You wanted to impress your date.
Well, if you suspect your partner is cheating, you may want to start looking for signs that they are trying to impress someone else. You may notice that they are taking more time to get ready before they leave for work. They could also be wearing clothes that just don’t fit the situation. In fact, you may notice that they are buying a lot of new clothes.
Along with clothing, look for signs that they are dieting, working out, or doing things to enhance their physical appearance. However, don’t start getting paranoid since they could be doing it because they want to feel better about themselves. Sometimes people just like to look their best for no particular reason. Use your best judgment – after all, no one knows your spouse like you do.
Signs of Cheating #4 – They Log a Lot More Internet Time
It is no secret that the internet plays a big role in society today. In fact, it is one of the best ways keep close to people that matter. If your spouse is carrying on with someone behind your back, then you can bet that he/she is using an online site to do it. Social sites make it effortless to stay in touch and mobile devices mean that they can touch base anytime they like. In fact, they don’t have to use an actual computer anymore – they can do it all with integrated social phone apps available on their cell phone.
If you notice that they are always on the computer at home surfing, or they seem to be preoccupied with their mobile device, there is a chance that they are communicating with the other person. You also want to look for signs of mood swings while they are doing this. Sudden highs and lows for no reason at all could spell trouble.
Signs of Cheating #5 – Your Spouse’s Car
If your better half is having an affair, it is certain that the other person has been in their car at some point. If it has progressed for any length of time, it is likely that this is a common occurrence. Look for things like seats and mirrors that are out of adjustment. You are also going to want to check under the seat and in the glove box for evidence such as receipts and items of clothing. Make sure that you take note of any unfamiliar perfume/cologne smells and try to notice if there are two cups in the coffee holders.
Another strong piece of evidence you can gather from your spouse’s car is mileage that just seems out of whack. If you know that they only have a 5 mile commute to work and you see that they have been averaging 10 times that, there has to be a reason for it. Where are they going at lunch and who are they going with? What are they doing after work that takes them so far out of their way? This is going to mean that you are going to have to have access to their car on a regular basis. Take notes and write everything down.
Signs of Cheating #6 – Hang up Calls
While everyone gets a hangup call now and then, you should be worried if you are getting a lot more than your share. Though most people know that discretion is of the utmost importance during an affair, there may be times when the other person takes a chance and tries to get your spouse at home.
If you notice that the hangup calls only happen when you answer the phone, then you may have something to worry about. As well as hangup calls, be sure to watch for calls that your spouse answers which seem to change their mood or make them seem embarrassed. Are they taking certain calls in another room or are they quick to get off the line?
Signs of Cheating #7 – Changes in the Bedroom
One of the biggest indicators that your spouse is having an affair is that they act unusual in the bedroom. Everyone is different and while some people may see a spouse who is distant, others may experience an increase in sexual drive from that person. The main thing is that you are seeing changes in the way they act when you are intimate.
If you notice a complete lack of interest, then it may be something to worry about. If they are getting their needs met elsewhere, this is going to show up in their sexual appetite (or lack thereof).
When you are intimate, do you notice new moves? Where did that come from? This is especially significant if you have been together for a while. You know your spouse and changes like this are going to stick out like a sore thumb. Don’t dismiss it as nothing because there is a reason for everything.
Signs of Cheating #8 – Treating You Differently
One of the biggest indicators that something is going on is when your spouse starts treating you differently for no particular reason. Keep in mind that this is going to be different for everyone. Some cheating partners are going to feel so guilty that they start acting overly nice in an attempt to compensate for the fact that they are cheating. Others may start to feel contempt towards you, because, in some twisted way, you are keeping them from spending time with their new love.
In any case, this is something that you are going to notice if you have been with your spouse for any length of time. They may be able to pretend like there is nothing wrong, but you can bet that their true feelings are going to come out in the way they treat you.
Signs of Cheating #9 – His/Her Personal Things Are Always Locked Up
While we all need a little privacy, it should raise a red flag if your spouse suddenly becomes paranoid about locking things up and making sure that everything is secure. If you have been together for a while, you should be able to see changes like this without much trouble. There is always a reason for things – if your spouse has never been that security conscious and they suddenly make sure that everything is locked up, you could have something to worry about.
You may notice that they start locking things in their desk drawer, password protecting their computer log-on or making sure that their cell phone is deleted daily and password protected as a further measure. Suddenly, the carefree person that could care less about security is locking things up tighter than Fort Knox.
Could it be that they have something to hide?
Signs of Cheating #10 – Your Spouse Completely Disappears For Periods of Time
If you notice that your mate is nowhere to be seen at certain times, you should be concerned. He/she is going to have to make time for the new relationship and that time has to come from somewhere. You may notice that they are disappearing during the day or after work. Sometimes it is for an hour, sometimes for several. You may also notice a pattern forming. Are you unable to locate them at work on their lunch break? Do they disappear off the face of the earth after work and show up hours later with a flimsy excuse? Again, if they have had a routine for years and, suddenly, things are upside down, there must be a reason for it.
How to Find Out if Your Spouse is Really Cheating
While you may notice strong signs of cheating, it means nothing if you don’t have any evidence. Anything can be explained away, but it is hard to dispute real proof. One of the best ways to get real evidence and put an end to speculation is by finding phone numbers and text messages in your spouse’s cell phone.
Here is what to do in 3 easy steps:
1. Make sure that you are familiar with their model of cell phone. If you are going to be checking it on a regular basis, you want to make sure that you get in and out fast. Fumbling with the controls is not an option and is a sure way to get caught. If you are not familiar with their cell phone, enter the model number in an online search engine and you should be able to get a copy of the operation manual.
2. Study it and make sure you can find what you are looking for quickly. You are going to want to look for text messages (sent and received), phone numbers in their address book, and numbers, incoming and outgoing. Also hit send to see what the last number dialed was. Do not let the call complete, obviously. Make sure that you write everything down.
3. Take your list of suspect phone numbers and do a reverse search to find out who they belong to. Find out who has been calling and texting and who your spouse has been phoning and texting. If the phone number is a landline, you only have to go to The White Pages site to find out who is calling. However, there is a very good chance that the number is a cell phone and you are not going to be able to use a free site like the white pages. The reason for this is that the cell phone carriers do not release information on their subscribers in the public domain as with regular phone numbers. There is no free directory.
If you want that information, you will have to pay a small fee to a specialty online service that will return the name and address of the individual who owns the cell phone. Here is an online service that produces instant results.
Click HERE to do a search now!