Most of us are a little self-conscious when it comes to our looks. Even those who look perfectly average or above average may have insecurities about the way others perceive them.
It’s a silly human thing…
Nevertheless, it’s there and we have to deal with it.
Now, being hyper-aware of your looks isn’t doing you any favors. When you’re needlessly self-conscious, you may naturally hold back from doing the things you want to do. You are more reserved, you play it safe, and you may hesitate to really put yourself out there.
You’re missing out on more than you think…
You’re missing out on life.
Does the following sound like you?
You stay home on the weekend because you just don’t feel comfortable being around others (especially the opposite sex) and, instead, plan a night of Netflix binge watching with a friend.
You don’t initiate conversations with people, but instead wait for someone else to do it.
You don’t speak freely because you’re always feeling self-conscious.
You know you’re more than able to hold your end of a conversation and turn a normal interaction into something special, yet something just holds you back.
You hate getting your picture taken.
You won’t include your photo on dating sites, thus missing most of the opportunity you would normally have. Most people fly through these (no pic profiles) without a second thought and they never get read.
Unless you are suffering from a real condition known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (A condition where you are convinced you have real physical defects where none exist), then there are things you can do to change your way of thinking.
Getting comfortable with the way you look is like everything else in life – it takes practice. And you are only going to get that practice by going out and mingling.
It’ll be tough in the beginning. Some people never really get comfortable with themselves, no matter how many exposures. But you will get better than you are now – and there is a lot to be said for improving – even if it’s just a little.
You may also be suffering from Social Phobia – But that is a whole different ballgame.
Start right now
If you have an online dating profile without a photo, fix that. If you just can’t bring yourself to do a full-on closeup, how about starting with a more distant shot? Turn down the lights a little if needed. Many profiles show borderline silhouettes, so don’t worry about what people will think. Some of them are very tasteful.
Next, resist the urge to stay at home on the weekend. Even if all you do is go for a walk in the park, get up and do that. Anything is better than nothing. Go out with friends for a drink or a movie. Avoid high pressure venues (like bars and clubs) for now. It’s just a bunch of friends going out to have a good time. Let your hair down and don’t worry about the way you look, saying the wrong thing or embarrassing yourself.
When you feel like saying something, don’t second guess yourself. Engage others and add to the conversation. You’ll be amazed at how well you really do if only you have the courage to speak up. Ignore that little voice that second guesses everything in your head just before you speak.
Of course, you just can’t blurt out everything you are thinking – haha.
The bottom line is that you are going to do better than you think.
Just keep in mind that most people are too busy worrying about how they look and how they are being perceived to worry about how you look or how you’re acting. And even if they did, what are they going to see? Nothing out of the ordinary…