After reading hundreds of online profiles and chatting with a few dozen people, you’ve finally narrowed things down to that one special person. You seem to have connected on a deeper level than the rest, and you both obviously feel some sort of special connection. You’ve got a good feeling about this person, but what’s even more incredible is that you managed to find someone in a maze of internet sites and dating profiles.
Well, that wasn’t too difficult, now was it?
Of course, there is still the small matter of the face-to-face meeting.
This is where things take a turn for the worse for many people. The outcome will, of course, depend on many things like your individual personalities, the venue for your first date, and how compatible you are (chemistry).
One of the first concerns for most people is: How will he/she react to my physical appearance? If you’ve been honest in your online relationship, there should be no surprises here. However, if you’ve been a little elusive and deceptive, you could have cause for concern. Of course, you didn’t mean to use that 10 year old picture, it just happened – Hmm.
Provided there are no huge surprises when you first meet, you should, at least, be able to relax a little and enjoy the evening. Naturally, your success will be dependant on many things, including your charm, humour, confidence, and general personality – and, of course, that all important chemistry thing. Not too nerve wracking, now is it?
Relax; you can stack the deck in your favour by doing some pre-date planning.
The first thing you need to consider is your own personality. Are you outgoing and confident? Are you shy and quiet? Does the prospect of sitting down to dinner with a perfect stranger send your anxiety through the roof, or do you welcome the opportunity to get to know each other through stimulating conversation? Be honest here.
The next step is to plan the evening around your strengths. Do you get extremely nervous at dinner and struggle for the right words to carry the conversation? No problem, just make sure that you don’t get yourself into that situation. Try a day date to start things off if you must.
You could also try planning the date around an activity. You might even try to plan something you are fairly good at. Be careful here, no one likes a show-off. Use plenty of discretion and be humble, otherwise you could come off as being insecure. In any case, imagine how much fun you can have without all that nervous tension.
The bottom line is to know yourself and plan accordingly. Don’t get into a situation that is likely to cause you stress and anxiety – you won’t be able to hide your emotions completely.
You also might want to consider meeting informally at first. Don’t jump into a full-fledged date if you can help it. This will help you to get a feel for the other person and will enable you to better plan the actual date when the time is right. Keep the conversation light by disclosing a little information about yourself and asking a few impersonal questions of your own. A coffee shop meeting is perfect for this.
Remember: Work your strengths and plan around your weaknesses.
And if you find yourself tongue-tied, read this book: