There is no doubt that you’re still in love with your ex. After all, why would you still be going through all that emotional pain. What you may not realize is that your attitude towards them at the moment could be creating most of your problems. In other words, you still care deeply about them and you’re hesitant to make waves for fear of losing them for good.
The problem with having this attitude is that you’re always going to be on the defensive and you’ll never be in control. Your ex, although they may be a good person, knows that they have full control and, in a sense, they’re a little bit power-hungry.
Although you may feel like appeasing to them and rebuilding the relationship, you still need to stand up for yourself and show your ex that you still have some self esteem and dignity left. Very few people have ever turned things around by playing the submissive role. Sometimes you just have to get tough.
Start sticking up for yourself and learn to say no. Don’t agree with everything your ex says and stop being so nice. We all want what we can’t have and if your ex thinks they have a chance of losing you, you may see a difference in their attitude. This is ingrained into our human psyche and can be used to your advantage if you know which buttons to press.
Attraction is not a choice and, oftentimes, we don’t have a choice over how we feel. While you may think that by being nice to them they may reconsider, what you’re doing is creating an “oversupply” of yourself. When something is in ample supply, our natural tendency is to discount it and devalue it. It’s only when something becomes scarce that it takes on a perceived value.
You can start turning things around right away. If you’ve had a tendency to contact your ex on a regular basis, simply stop it and see what kind of reaction you get. When they are expecting that phone call or text message and it doesn’t arrive, it is going to throw a wrench in what they thought they had figured out.
If you have an opportunity to meet up, act nonchalant and happy. They actually expect you to be depressed and anxious. In a roundabout way, they feed off this and it makes them feel better. Once they meet a little opposition, they’re going to be taken down a few notches.
During the conversation, don’t be argumentative but don’t agree with everything they say. Have your own points and don’t be afraid to express yourself.
Don’t talk about the relationship or mention how much you miss them. Keep the meeting short and act as though you have somewhere to be. Keep them guessing and don’t be specific about where you have to be. Remember, you are increasing your perceived value by creating scarcity. Not only that, but they may just start wondering where (or who) you are meeting.
You need a little psychological edge to get things going, so the best time to start is now. Put them on the mental back burner and get out there and enjoy life. If they see you doing this, all the better.
Next, click on this link, watch the video, and launch a real plan to get your ex back.