In the early days of a relationship, when everything is new and exciting, it is easy to over-look someone’s faults. In this stage, you may think that you are the luckiest person in the world, but there could be underlying signs that he is not the guy you think he is.
Here are some signs to watch for:
1. You notice that he is making all the decisions and rarely asks you what you would like to do or where you would like to go. Of course, having a confident man who knows what he wants is attractive, but when he completely ignores your wishes and feelings, you know that there is a problem. A confident man will still be very sensitive to your feelings.
2. Your opinion seems to mean nothing to him. He may even make fun of some of the suggestions you have. He should value your opinion because you are in this together and having mutual respect for each other is an integral part of a healthy relationship. If he treats you like you have nothing of value to add to the conversation, then you have to wonder if things are going to improve in the near future.
3. You notice that he puts you down in front of other people. In doing so, he is showing that he has little respect for you and he is willing to throw you under the bus, so to speak, in order to make himself look better. This is nothing more than abuse and it is something that you shouldn’t have to put up with. If your friends start telling you about it, you should listen to them and stop looking at this guy through rose-colored glasses.
4. If he wants you to do things sexually that you feel uncomfortable with, it could be a bad sign – especially if he keeps trying to get you to do it. This shows that he has no regard for your feelings and is simply thinking about fulfilling his own sexual fantasies. You may also notice that he is rougher than normal in bed – another bad sign. The best way to handle this is to make sure that you establish boundaries right from the start and make sure that he understands where you stand. If he insists on pushing you, you may have to show him the door.
5. He tends to want you all to himself. He makes it difficult to spend any time with family or friends and believes that you should spend all your time together. You need to have your own life away from your relationship with him. This is healthy and something that we all need. If he is preventing you from seeing your friends, then this could be a warning sign. It is also a sign that he is possessive and jealous. Who knows how far he is going to take this in the future. Will he forbid you to go out because he believes you are going to see another guy? Will he start stalking you?
6. He flirts with other women. While you expect that he is going to talk to other women, he makes it very clear that he wants more. He can’t understand why you are getting upset and makes it look like no big deal. He accuses you of being jealous and possessive. You don’t want to let him make you out to be the bad guy – you have every right to make a big deal out of this.
7. You notice that his temper will flare up over the simplest things. If he is showing this kind of attitude in the beginning, just remember that this is likely to be his best behavior. We all show our best side in the beginning and you can just imagine that if this is his best side now, things are going to get worse as time goes on. If he is exposing a violent temper (even for a second), this is not a good thing. You could even be in serious danger down the road.
The bottom line is that you shouldn’t be looking at the relationship through rose-colored glasses. You have to be on the lookout for warning signs that he is not the nice guy you think he is. Look for signs of trouble before it is too late. While you don’t want to be paranoid about every relationship and every guy you date, you should definitely keep an open eye for some of these signs – especially in the beginning.
If your relationship has hit a rough patch, maybe all you need is to add a little zing – like these 300 creative dates, for example.