With half of today’s marriages ending in divorce, don’t feel bad if you’re wondering if there’s a chance to save your own. You’re not alone, and it’s entirely possible your spouse is asking themselves the same thing.
There are plenty of reasons a marriage can step back from the abyss of divorce and return to the warm hearth of a cozy stable home. What’s more is, if your marriage can be saved, you might find out that the bond between your spouse becomes stronger by overcoming the adversity of a near divorce. In short, is there hope to save a marriage? Indubitably, yes.
In the late 80s, the National Survey of Families and Households conducted a study that followed 645 couples who thought their marriage was “unhappy.” Ultimately, the majority of the people in the study that tried to give their marriage a second chance were describing their marriage as “happy” five years later. This is evidence that making a sincere effort to make a marriage work can put it back on the tracks to being a long and meaningful bond.
In marriage counseling, the fact that most spouses (even those considering divorce) still respect each other as human beings is a valuable commodity. This respect usually flows from the recognition that at least at one point in time, your spouse had a number of good qualities that you liked. While you may have a hard time seeing them presently, those qualities are still there, even if they’ve been obscured by other less desirable behaviors since then. Remembering the good times can help you come up with ways to bring that positive connection back to life.
You can turn around a failing marriage all by yourself. While it is certainly easier to save a failing relationship with cooperation from both partners, it is possible for one partner to make the changes needed to save a marriage. If you can change the way you’re acting in the relationship, it is only a matter of time before your partner follows suit. They may not do it consciously, or willingly, but if you can remove the source of their discontent, they will eventually find themselves warming up to the idea of staying together.
Getting the right advice can really help you turn things around. Sometimes it can be difficult to accurately observe what’s happening in a relationship, what’s working, what’s not, when you’re one of the people in it. This is because our own emotional needs can obscure our judgment and cause us to over react. This is why a knowledgeable third party, like a marriage counselor, or even a self help book (or ebook) can really help you if you’re trying to save a marriage.
If you’re getting discouraged in your relationship and are starting to think it’s beyond redemption. Slow down, take a deep breath. Look at your situation. Get an outside opinion if you can. Just remember that it is possible to save a marriage, no matter how bad things might seem right now.
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