No matter who you are, what your background is, or where you are in life right now, you can change your situation and attract the man of your dreams. Even if you have not had a normal date in some time. Even if all you seem to attract are players, losers, and perverts. Even if you have given up on ever finding a nice normal guy.
Good news – they are actually out there. Bad news – there are few of them to go around.
Let’s face it: any woman can attract men. All you have to do is head down with your girlfriends to the local hot spot, or fill out a decent dating profile online. Do that and nothing more and you are going to attract men. That is simple human nature. In fact, women have it better than men when it comes to this because, for the most part, it is the man who will approach first.
But do you want him to approach?
Unfortunately, what you are going to wind up getting is a disproportionate amount of men who are unsatisfactory in some way. A lot are going to have only sex on their mind. Some will be downright creepy, and the others are going to be living in their mother’s basement. Men who have it together are going to be less available and you are unlikely to meet them in this manner. Unlikely, but possible – only if you are extremely lucky.
What you have to do is up your game and get out of the trenches.
But first, there is something that we should address. Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract all the creeps online and in bars? How many times have you or someone you know said, “Are there any normal guys around?” Sound familiar?
It could be because the men who are approaching you now are taking massive action and playing the numbers game. They know that if they hit on enough women, eventually they are going to score. When you go to a bar or post your profile online, you are seeing them at their best (or worst).
So, where are the normal guys?
Well, the truth is that they are out there, but you are going to have to work a little to get their attention. Men like this know that they are in demand and they are unlikely to be the type to chase you unless there is something remarkable about you.
Okay, so how do you make the jump from where you are now to where you want to be? How do you say goodbye to the undesirable men you seem to have no problem attracting? How can you attract a great guy and just live a normal life?
Well, you can start by looking over the following 10 Things You Can do Right Now to Attract the Man of Your Dreams:
1. Be friendly. The first thing a guy is going to see is how approachable you seem to be. That is why it is important to smile and have a friendly attitude. You also have to have friendly body language. Don’t sit with your arms crossed, for example. You want him to see someone who he can approach and have a conversation with. If you are sitting there looking bitchy, he may just decide to pass. Keep in mind that you are also going to have to fend off the guys that you aren’t interested in because they are also going to pick up on your easy going, friendly look.
2. Physical appearance is key. Another thing you are going to have to consider is improving your physical appearance. I know, it sounds so superficial, but the fact remains that you are likely going to be competing with other women for this guy, so you are going to want to make sure you are looking your best. Make sure you are dressed to attract, but don’t overdo it. If you have to lose a bit of weight, then that is certainly something within your power. Wear makeup, but not too much. A light perfume that will entice, not overwhelm. Spend some extra money on your hair, nails and skin. The key here is to look as attractive as you can without making it look like you are trying too hard.
Get the opinion of a good friend or friends and ask for their honest input. There is nothing like an outsider’s viewpoint to bring things in perspective. Should you wear glasses or contacts? Hair up or down? What color/style dress looks best? Heels or flats? Once you have an idea of what your best look is, you are going to be able to transform any time you need to.
3. Men love confident women. There is no denying the fact that confident women go further when it comes to dating men who are in demand. Be pleasant and personable, but also confident – let him see that you have things together. You know what you want and you have high standards. Don’t shrink into the background.
You are going to want to exhibit a confident personality throughout the encounter. Whether that be the initial attraction, the first conversation, or the first date. Show him that you are a woman of substance and in demand.
4. Let him know your life is in order. As you get to know him, you are going to want to make it clear that you are doing okay in life and that you have everything together. The last thing you want is for him to think that you are going to become dependent on him. Although there are guys out there who love to find women in need of “fixing,” this is not the image that you want to portray. If he is successful in his own life, you can bet that he is going to want you to be the same. A strong independent woman is going to be much more appealing from his standpoint.
5. Be a good conversationalist. This is absolutely vital. You may be the best person in the world for your dream guy, but unless you can actually talk to him and entice him a little with good conversation, he may never get to know the real you. Conversation is the lubrication for any social interaction.
If you are a little on the shy side and you aren’t the best conversationalist in the world, you can always get better. Catch up on world events. Educate yourself on new topics and practice your conversation skills any time you can. It’s something you can practice with friends and in the worst case, they will simply notice that you are suddenly more worldly.
When you are talking to him, make sure that you don’t just sit there and agree with everything he says. It is natural to want to “please” someone you are attracted to, but if all you do is nod your head and smile, you are not going to show him that you do, indeed, have opposing views. Having an opposing view makes the conversation more interesting and makes you look more confident. Don’t be afraid of stepping on his toes a bit if you have another way of looking at things – it is what makes life interesting.
You can’t underestimate the importance of being a good conversationalist. If you learn this art, it can transform your personality and put you in a position where he just loves to be around you.
6. Have a bit of an attitude – but… There is something enticing about a woman who knows what she wants and has a bit of an attitude to boot. But you have to be careful here. There is a very fine line between having a cute little attitude and being a bit of a bitch. You have to know where to draw the line. Do you always send your food back in a restaurant because it is not quite right? Do you think the majority of people are morons and you wonder how you can live beside them? Are you always spoiling for an argument with someone? Do you love to force your opinions on others and you always have to be right? Do other people consider you rude? Well, this is an example of having a little too much attitude and once it has gone beyond cute, he is going to hightail it out of there. Curb your attitude and slow down a little because once you start embarrassing him in public, your days are going to be numbered.
7. You have to be at the right place at the right time. While there is a certain amount of luck involved with meeting the man of your dreams, you are also going to have to make things happen on your own. You are going to have to take the initiative to set things up so you have the best chance possible.
As they say, the fish aren’t going to come to you, you have to go to the fish. In other words, you are going to have to go where Mr. Wonderful is likely to hang out. Hint: It probably isn’t going to be the bar down the road or on that new dating site. No, you are going to have to think a little about this and try to imagine what his life is like. Where does he have lunch and where does he go for a drink after work?
Start by taking a course after hours. Perhaps a business course downtown or even a golf lesson on the weekend. Go to a play with your friends and rub shoulders with a different crowd. Change your job and get into that downtown firm you’ve always wanted.
This is also a good time to think about who you are hanging around with. If you want to attract that special guy, maybe it is time to start traveling in a different social circle. Not to say that you have to abandon your friends, but just start expanding your social circles. You never know who you are going to meet.
Every situation is going to be different. However, if you don’t make a move to be in position, you may miss your opportunity.
8. Pay for a very private and exclusive dating service. Now, I am not talking about any of the online services where anyone is allowed to join for 40 bucks a month. Yeah, you can do that if you love to get propositioned by hundreds of random, horny guys looking for sex. No, I am talking about a local, exclusive service that interviews clients and matches them according to likes, dislikes, similar personalities. You can tell them what type of man you want to meet and they are going to go out of their way to provide you with a suitable match. They set up the date and you meet in real life. No online chatting or online anything for that matter.
Services like this used to be more common. Before the internet took hold, it was a great way to meet other singles. All you had to do was join, go for the interview, pay their fee and you would hear from them usually within a week. They would give you a name and number of a match and you would set up the date. Each week, you would have a new contact unless you started seeing someone seriously. If that happened, you would put your membership on hold and see how things worked out. Simple, and it worked well.
These days, they are less common, but you can still find them in larger cities. The service is not cheap and the clientele are certainly a step above anything you would find online. This may be one of the best ways for a discerning man and woman to meet because it essentially screens the person beforehand. A guy looking for sex and a casual fling is not going to use a service like this.
9. Be hard to get. Notice I did not say “play” hard to get. You have to let him know that you are not like other women. In fact, he should be lucky to even have the chance to date you. Well, maybe don’t go that far, but you also don’t want to give it all away in the beginning. He has to know that you are not a sure thing and that he may or may not have a chance. No matter what you feel inside, it is always a good idea to stay a little aloof. Now, this is really an art because if you go too far, it is going to backfire.
Now, I say to be hard to get instead of play hard to get because that is the attitude you are going to want to have. You have to believe that you are hard to get and that he is going to be one lucky guy if you do hook up.
Make sure that you don’t call him after a date – leave that to him. Don’t answer any text messages or phone messages right away. Make him see that you have a lot of other things going on in your life and that you are going to reply when you can. Again, make sure you don’t wait too long or he is going to thing that you aren’t interested.
10. Introduce yourself. Don’t be afraid of introducing yourself to him. This is not going to make you look desperate if you do it right. You could start things out by simply smiling at him and making an innocent comment about something that is relevant at that moment. For example: You are standing in line at the grocery store and you comment on the item you see in his cart. “I tried that last week and it was delicious.” Simple things like that are enough to start a great conversation. Make sure you smile before speaking so it looks more natural and makes you look less intrusive. Not every woman can do this, but for the ones who have the confidence to do so, it can be a great way to break the ice.
See a nice looking guy at a party? Stop close or sit down next to him and comment on how many people showed up or that the food is incredible (or not). Though you do want to stick to positive comments. Complaining about things won’t do much for you and could make you look negative or bitter. Don’t do this if he is in a group, obviously, but if he looks alone and approachable, take the initiative.
Keep in mind that some guys are not used to being approached by a woman and it may confuse them for a second. Do not take this as a negative. Give him minute to get it together. If you get no response, follow it up with a follow up comment and leave it at that. If he does not respond then, move on.
And there you have it: 10 things you can do to get the guy of your dreams.
One thing I want to mention here. Do not assume that if a guy doesn’t have chiseled good looks and/or a magnetic personality that he is not worthy of dating you. That is really a little elitist and snobbish. There are many guys out there who are kind, personable, capable and giving, but they also may be a little withdrawn and shy. If you assume that they are weird or creepy because of this, you could be missing out on someone who is going to make you happy and someone who you could actually spend the rest of your life with. You really can’t judge a guy within the first few minutes. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Now, if a guy emails you a picture of his penis from an online dating site, then ya, you can assume he is a weirdo. These are the guys you want to stay away from. Or if a guy is so broke that he can’t even afford to pay for the date, then you may have something to worry about. But a regular guy can easily be the one for you even if he isn’t tall, dark and handsome – even if he isn’t rich and powerful. You never know how intensely you are going to click with a person or how wonderful he is going to be for you in the long run.
Need more details? How about a map to success? Well, you can start by checking out This video.