How can I save my marriage?
As a conservative estimate, there are probably hundreds of books written on this subject, but the problem seems to be as prevalent as ever. However, you shouldn’t blame the advice being given out in these self-help books – in fact, many of them are written by experts in the field.
Instead, it may have more to do with how you are approaching the marriage in the first place – unless you can change your overall attitude, all the advice in the world is not going to help.
Just Say No To Divorce
If the last thing either one of you want is divorce, you should make it a point to never talk about it. Dwelling on negative solutions like that will make any real progress almost impossible. There are some individuals that will threaten divorce, although they have no intention of following through with it, and this can be a dangerous game.
What they may not realize is that the more the subject is brought up, the greater the chance will be that it may actually happen. That is just human nature, so it’s best not to tempt fate.
You Must Respect Your Partner
Think back to what it was like shortly after you met – back when you couldn’t stop thinking about each other and there was always that little bit of nervous energy. You likely went a little overboard in the way that you treated each other with respect and dignity. You were always on your best behavior and managed to resolve any minor problems quickly. Obviously, you can’t be expected to have those exact feelings again, but that’s not to say that you can’t start showing that same level of respect. Just think of everything you’ve been through as a couple and try not to take the other person for granted if you truly want to save your marriage.
Start by accepting the fact that no one is perfect – not you, and not your spouse. It’s a curious thing how forgiving we are in the beginning – for example, as newlyweds. During this time, we are more than willing to overlook some (or most) of our partner’s faults, annoying habits, and other shortcomings. But after years of not picking up after themselves and leaving the cap off the toothpaste, these annoying little habits can really wear on a person. It’s simple human nature and all a part of sharing your life with someone. Try this: make a promise to yourself that the next time you are ready to lose it because of something your spouse did, ask yourself whether or not your reaction is justified.
Chances are, it won’t be. Learning to let some things slide shows character and self control.
This may be the hardest habit to get a handle on. If you are constantly criticizing your better half, you may even be doing it sub-consciously. In any case, it may require a fair amount of effort to stop. Don’t assume that you shouldn’t speak your mind when there is something that is really bothering you. It is okay to speak your mind as long as you do so in a way that doesn’t critique and judge.
How Well Do You Understand The Opposite Sex?
Open your mind and make it a point to really understand how and why the other gender do what they do when it comes to relationships and how they approach problems. Not just your spouse, but their gender in general. Don’t make the mistake of assuming you know them like the back of your hand and you can predict every move they are going to make. Learning to understand them a little more can prove to be very beneficial and can be a great aid in helping to save your marriage.
How can I save my marriage? Well, it all comes down to understanding your mate, being able to communicate openly, and showing them the respect they deserve. Start working on these 3 steps and you may be surprised at the difference it can make.
Stop Divorce – Even if you’re the only one trying!