Having a hard time getting over a breakup? It isn’t easy, but it can be done – and with a whole lot less stress and aggravation than you ever thought possible. Though the breakup was devastating, you don’t have to suffer through weeks and months of anguish until the feelings you had for your ex diminish. Here are a few tips to help you get your life back:
Getting Over a Breakup – See Your Ex For Who They Really Are
It’s been a few weeks now, yet you are still obsessed with your previous relationship. This is supposed to get easier as time goes on, but you find yourself thinking about him/her more than ever. So, how do you get over someone you love? Well, you have to start by really looking at your former relationship and realizing that you may be making it out to be more than it actually was. In other words, you are not seeing the negative aspect, only the positive. In fact, you may actually be twisting things around to the point that the negative aspects take on a positive spin.
Unless you had a perfect relationship, there is a good chance that you have had your share of arguments and fights. Think about all the stuff the two of you did not agree on instead of painting a perfect picture of you former mate.
If you are guilty of putting your ex on a pedestal and seeing the relationship through rose-colored glasses, then you are not being fair to yourself. This is not the right way to approach getting over a breakup. You are making things a lot worse if you can only see your ex in a positive light.
Why do we do this? Why do we make our former partner out to be larger than life? Well, it is down to human nature. We place greater value on that which we cannot have as opposed to that which is readily available. Sometimes we want something so bad that we end up making it look a whole lot better than it actually is.
We see our ex as smarter, more personable, sexier, better looking, and more appealing than they really are. In other words: we are giving them way more credit than they deserve.
One of the best ways to get your perspective back and start seeing your ex for who they really are is to talk to a few of your friends who know your ex. See what they think of the person who you are idealizing and listen to what they have to say. Granted, they are going to want to protect you and their views may seem a little biased, but you should still be able to get an idea of what they honestly think of your ex and how you may be missing a lot of important stuff.
You will also want to start thinking about some of the negative times you had during the relationship. Did your ex mistreat you on occasion? How often did you argue? How well did you get along when times were tough? Did they disrespect you in public? These are all things that you need to remember and think about in order to get a real perspective on this.
Certainly, you are going to lose some of your admiration and fondness for your ex after a length of time That is just how things are. Time has a way of making you see things for what they really are. Only then will you see how silly you were and that your ex did not deserve to be idolized like that. Unfortunately, it is not going to help you now.
For the time being, it is enough to realize what is going on and that you are not seeing the situation for what it is. It is hard getting over a breakup, but putting your ex up on a pedestal is not helping your cause. Tell yourself that the way you are seeing them now is likely not the way things really are. Think about the bad times as well as the good and you are going to realize that your ex is simply human, with faults, just like the rest of us.
The last question you have to ask yourself is whether you want your ex back after all this. By seeing them for who they really are, you may realize that it is best if you both went your separate ways. You may come to the conclusion that you had a lucky escape.
Or, you may realize that they really are everything you want in life, despite their shortcomings. Let’s face it, no one is perfect. Here is a product that is going to give you the best chance possible when it comes to getting that relationship back. These are proven methods that have already worked for thousands. Click here to have a peek.
Getting Over a Breakup – Socializing Again
If you are pining for your ex, there is a good chance that your social life has deteriorated to the point where you are alone most of the time. While it is a good idea to take some time and grieve a little, it is unhealthy to continue in this state. What you are doing is inviting negative feelings and thoughts to permeate your life and to cast a dark cloud over everything you do. This can suck the life out of, what would ordinarily be, things that you enjoy. Everything loses it’s luster and you are not able to find joy and fulfillment in anything you do.
Additionally, being alone in this state means that you are blowing things out of proportion. With no one there to talk to, the crisis you are in can seem a whole lot worse than what it really is. If you have no one to stop the negative thinking, it can quickly spiral out of control.
And that is where friends and socializing can make an immense difference. In fact, there is no other single thing in this world that is going to help you get over a breakup than surrounding yourself with other people. We are social creatures and we need social interaction – that is a fact.
Once you take a little time for yourself and do a bit of soul-searching, reflecting, reminiscing, and feeling sorry for yourself, it is time to start making contact with people. Give your best friend a call and arrange to meet up for lunch or a coffee just to catch up. I know – you don’t feel like socializing and you would rather wallow in your own misery, but really make an effort to do this – it is going to pay off.
The thing about talking to other people is that they can give you a fresh perspective on things. Having someone to bounce ideas and thoughts off of is going to help you immensely. Even if you don’t talk about the failed relationship, just interacting with another person is very therapeutic.
Now, one thing to keep in mind is that talking to a best friend is one thing, but getting out there and socializing with people you aren’t as close to is another. No one really wants to talk about your troubles and you would be doing yourself a disservice if you continued to talk about how you are trying to get over a breakup. That kind of conversation is best left to someone who really cares about you (like a best friend). You have to be close to someone to talk about things that are that personal.
Having said all that, there is nothing like getting out there with a group of friends and enjoying yourself. Don’t bring up the failed relationship and try to keep things light and enjoyable. You don’t want to be known as the downer that no one wants to talk to. They may know about your breakup, but they are not going to talk about the finer points like a best friend will.
The great thing about getting out and socializing is that it is going to allow you to take your mind off the situation. If you have a group of friends, engaging in a few conversations with different people can work wonders. If you are doing something exciting together as a group, then all the better. It is the act of socializing that is going to lift your spirits.
You don’t have a group of friends? How about family members? Surely, there must be someone in your immediate family that you are close to and who you trust to talk about something this sensitive. If you really don’t have anyone to talk to, it is time to get out there and make some friends. This is something that you can do, no matter who you are or what age you are. You are never too old to make friends.
To get the ball rolling, think about joining a group or class. You really don’t have to look too hard to find a class that is operating nearby in an area that you are interested in. Even if you don’t make friends easily, you have the advantage of seeing the same people once or twice a week for the duration of the course (usually 4 months). Tell me that you can’t meet people and become relatively close in a matter of months…
Getting over a breakup is something that is going to take time, but you don’t have to suffer through this ordeal on your own. You really can start enjoying life again with the help of other people. Fight those feelings you have at the moment and just get out there. Even if it is to take a walk to the grocery store, you have a chance to talk with people. Who knows, one of those conversations may brighten your day to the point where you realize that life really isn’t that bad – in fact, it is pretty awesome.
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