After The Breakup – First Steps

After a breakup, it’s common for one person to take things harder than the other (usually, it’s the one who has been dumped). In contrast, the individual who broke it off will always maintain the upper hand after the split. It’s human nature.

This can be a very emotional time – especially if you are the “dumpee.”

The biggest question you may have at the moment is whether there is there any hope at all for your relationship – Can you get your ex back?

Of course you can! If you concentate on following some simple steps and pay attention to the rules, you have an excellent chance at getting him/her back.

But it isn’t easy – and it has to be done right.

There are certain do’s and don’ts during this period that you must pay attention to or risk losing your ex forever. This is where most people make their mistakes.

So, what’s the first step?

You need to take this time to carefully consider the events leading up to the breakup. What reason did they give? Was it something you did/said? Are you the innocent victim? If you don’t know why it happened, it’s going to be difficult to fix.

There are many reasons people break up. You can’t always assume that it’s your fault. In fact, the problem could be entirely with your ex. Maybe they got bored. Perhaps they found someone else. Maybe they’re not mature enough to handle a serious relationship. Take responsibility for your part, but don’t assume it was completely your fault. Your next steps will determine your fate. Play it right, and you’ve got a great chance of getting your ex back.

Here are 5 critical steps you need to take now:

1. Resist the urge to contact your ex. This includes all methods of communication including cell phone and text messaging. Nothing good will come of this – that is a fact. This is the number one mistake people make right after a breakup. Instead of thinking, they rely on their urges. To be fair, the urge to contact your ex can be overpowering – that’s why most people give in to it.

2. If you talk to your ex after the breakup, avoid blaming them for everything that’s gone wrong in your life. Accept responsibility for any actions on your part that led to the breakup. Acknowledge the fact that it’s over, but don’t allow them to place the entire blame on you.

3. Get on with your life. Even though you are still harboring feelings for them, you need to send the message that you are okay and you are coping with things. This may provide surprising results in itself. Human nature is a funny thing – we always want what we can’t (or don’t) have. Get involved with an activity that will take your mind off the breakup and your ex. Let them know that even though you are upset about the split, you still have a life and other interests. This shows high self-esteem, and your ex might start seeing you in a different light. Avoid the urge to go out with anyone else for a while. If you immediately hook up with another person, your ex will simply see this for what it is – spiteful.

4. Avoid playing detective. Although you may have an overpowering urge to find out what your ex is up to, avoid this at all costs. This will absolutely ruin any chance you have of ever getting back together. If they find out that you’ve been “stalking” them, your reputation will be ruined.

5. Avoid any hostility. You see it time and time again – after weeks of begging your ex to come back, it finally sinks in that there is no way that’s going to happen (due to how you are handling the situation). When that happens, strong urges of retaliation can surface and one last argument can destroy any hope of ever getting back together. You have nothing to gain by doing this, so it’s best just to walk away and hope that, over time, things will improve.

How badly do you want your ex back? Are you confident that you can take the right steps to ensure that this happens? One mistake could kill any chance you had of getting back together. What if you could follow a proven, step-by-step, method that would allow you to take control of the situation, make the right moves, and eventually get your ex back? How incredible would that be?

Here is a trick from an expert in the field. It’s called the “Calm Mind Technique.” If you are dealing with an incredible amount of emotional distress at the moment, take a minute and watch this. You’ll be glad you did.

I hope that helped.