Not many guys take rejection well, despite what you may see on the surface. If only women could understand how tough it is for most guys to ask them out.
It takes a tough exterior to put yourself on the line like that. Fortunately, most women are genuine and, while they may not fully understand the emotional turmoil us guys can go through in the process, they cut us some slack.
However, not everyone is that nice, and eventually a guy is bound to run into someone who is not going to react positively to the prospect of being “chatted up.”
That is what this article is all about – how to handle rejection.
Have you ever noticed that the more confident guys don’t seem to have to worry too much about getting turned down? It’s as if they are part of a select group and don’t have to be concerned with the possibility of rejection. Because they appear smooth and confident, and always say the right things, they tend to have women flocking around them.
As a result, they have their choice of who they date.
In contrast, an average guy that may not be the most confident will usually be seen on the sidelines, quietly nursing a drink while the more confident alpha males are getting all the female attention. They sit and wait – watching and hoping that they can make eye contact with someone. Perhaps, after a few drinks, they’ll muster up enough courage to actually approach a women and introduce themselves – but not likely. What if she isn’t interested? Or, god forbid, she laughs at the attempt.
That walk across the bar or the dance floor can be nerve wracking. Is it any wonder many don’t even make the attempt?
So, what can you learn from a confident guy? How can you use that to overcome your fear of rejection?
What you may not realize is that all those confident guys probably get just as many rejections as you do. But the difference is that they are more resilient. Being rejected a half a dozen times in a row means nothing to them. They simply get right back in there and keep trying. They don’t allow things like that to affect how they look or feel about themselves. They don’t allow themselves to be defined by another person. In short, they are confident in their abilities. They simply move on to the next women they find attractive.
Sometimes their confidence comes off as a bit of a “bad boy” attitude – and women are attracted to that. Being able to handle yourself in this manner speaks volumes about who you are as a person. What is the big secret? Practice – plain and simple. Guys like this don’t take things personally and because they don’t allow a little rejection to get them down, they get a lot more practice than the average guy.
In fact, someone with this level of confidence and self-esteem may actually look at it as though it is her loss.
But it’s not all great. One of the core traits of a guy like this is that he will be fairly selfish and self-centered – generally speaking. As a result, he may have a hard time committing to any one person. The reason for this is undoubtedly that he simply has too many options.
As far as he is concerned, there are many fish in the sea. In contrast, a less confident guy is also likely more sensitive. He is looking for someone to have a real relationship with, and to share his life with – not simply a one night stand. Maybe that is exactly the reason why a less confident guy doesn’t handle rejection well.
They don’t want a different woman every week – they just want to have a relationship with one on a long term basis. The real problem stems from the fact that he may have to date many women to find one that is “the one.” That is something that goes against his basic personality, yet is essentially to finding a soul-mate.
The lesson to be learned here is that if you are a sensitive guy, you need to work on accepting rejection – maybe even embracing it. Stop resisting. Try to avoid focusing all your attention on one woman in particular. Spread yourself out and make it a point to chat with as many woman as possible. Resign yourself to the fact that you will get rejected and don’t take it personally.
Unless you actually find the love of your life in the first few women you date, make sure that you are always out there circulating. Remember: The only way you are going to get better at overcoming rejection is if you make it a point to embrace it and move on to bigger and better things.
You won’t worry about rejection after reading the Tao of Badass!